Expected & Unexpected Behaviors... What's It All About??

Michelle Garcia Winner is a Speech-Language Pathologist who coined the term "Social Thinking". Social Thinking is the core tenet of what I teach in the SCORES program. It is more than teaching explicit social skills (even though that is important as well). It is about teaching deeper. Teaching WHY certain behaviors create particular feelings and thoughts in others. It is about teaching that social interaction is reciprocal.

One of the core terms we use are "Expected" and "Unexpected". These do not connote good or bad, appropriate or inappropriate. They simply identify what types of behaviors are expected in various situations and how engaging in expected behavior creates calm, positive feelings in others. For example, talking to my coworkers in the middle of a faculty meeting would be unexpected. Dr. Pena would not have calm feelings and would react negatively to me. However, talking to my coworkers at an afterschool get together is expected and would create positive feelings in my coworkers. The same behavior can be viewed differently based upon context.

So, how do you use this at home? You embed it into every day life. You verbally observe and take note with your child of what is expected in various situations. You verbally observe and take note if you notice someone not engaging in expected behavior. You ask your child to observe and take note independently. You help your child connect the dots between behavior and the feelings/thoughts it creates in others. You look at it from the perspective of educating your child about what is expected instead of reprimanding them after the fact.

Kids with social thinking challenges must be taught explicitly the expectations for various situations. Kids who are working on learning the social thinking language have to work just as hard as someone who is learning a foreign language. They do not learn effectively by simple modeling. You have to spell it out!  When you do, you will see much less anxiety and upsetting behaviors. Your child WANTS to do the correct thing, but sometimes he or she simply does not know the social language.

For more information about using the terms "expected" and "unexpected", I encourage you to check out Michelle Garcia Winner's blog. She recently wrote an excellent article about this issue. You can find her blog at http://www.socialthinking.com/component/content/article/597-using-expected-unexpected-social-thinking-vocabulary?utm_source=Book+Awards%2C+Peters+Article%2C+Denver+free+ticket&utm_campaign=Newsletter&utm_medium=email

Please don't hesitate to email if you have questions!

Social Thinking Group Snippets

Hello Parents!
Here is a quick update about what is happening in Social Thinking Groups...


Kindergarten

• Our two Kinder groups have been working on learning about Whole Body Listening. Whole Body Listening is a core concept that is used throughout their entire school day. It teaches the students to observe whether their bodies are helping them pay attention (are your ears listening to the speaker? Are your eyes looking at the speaker? Are your hands/feet quiet? Is your bottom sitting? Is your brain thinking about the topic?).  We cue the kiddos by saying, "Show me Whole Body Listening!".  You can use this term at home to help your child pay attention to the family at the dinner table or attend to any task where they need to display attention to the group. 
•  If you would like a visual to cue Whole Body Listening at home, you can find a printable on   the right sidebar under the "Whole Body Listening" tab.
• Another tool that is very handy is the Whole Body Listening helper. This is a small object (an action figure, a lego piece, etc.). It sits on an index card where it "helps" the child monitor whether their body and brain is in the group. While it is on the card, it is not a toy, but a tool. As long as the child's body is facing the group and their body is helping them listen, the WBL  helper stay on the card. When the child's body or brain leaves the group, then the adult takes the WBL helper off the card and makes sure the child notices. Cue them with "Show me Whole Body Listening" and return the helper once the child has redirected his attention. At the end of the activity, if the WBL helper is still on the card, the child should earn a small reward for his efforts. Using this tool over time helps train the child to become more aware of his own attention.
• Here is an example of a Whole Body Listening helper.

 

1st Grade

• We have been also been re-teaching the concept of Whole Body Listening. Please see the above Kinder post for ideas and tools. 
• This week we will continue to practice Whole Body Listening in game format.

2nd Grade 

• The kids have been reviewing the concepts of Whole Body Listening and the tools a Social Detective uses by teaching it to the teachers! We are so excited to see how much they remember from last year and what a great job they did teaching it.
• We also began working on developing Conversation Skills by watching a video model. This week we will continue to learn more about conversation skills. 

5th Grade

• We have begun working on Conversation Skills by watching a video model and will continue to work on developing our conversation skills this week through role playing games. 

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The Connection Between Sensory Issues & Behavior

Special-ism.com has posted a good article about the connection between Sensory needs and behaviors. I encourage you to take a look at it here.

How To Teach Your Child To Pause & Think

Dear Parents,
Here is a good article written by parenting coach, Dan Perdue, at Special-ism.com about how to teach your child to respond to a signal word. A signal word can be a valuable tool to help your child pause during a tantrum or emotionally charged moment and remember his goal of making good behavioral choices.

I encourage you to take a look at this short article and decide if this is something you would like to teach at home. Click here to view the article Pause the ADHD Outburst.